youre lurking in front of me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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