On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
