guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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