You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
