first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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