So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
