I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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