Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
