idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
