Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
