Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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