he puts the penis in happiness.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize