She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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