Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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