And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
