Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
this just has baby written all over it
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
