dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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