so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
