my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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