I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
God, I missed his penis.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
