I should be sponsored by Trojan
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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