Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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