Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
