pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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