when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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