please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
