Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize