How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
