the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
