i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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