Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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