I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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