Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
