I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
