whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize