she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
