omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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