Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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