TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
