it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
