if you like me you must not know who I am
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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