I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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