Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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