he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize