i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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