is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
