I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I touched a dick in church today
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
