ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm going to jail i love you
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just want to make out with him forever
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
