road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
