See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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