i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
