that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
