Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
