He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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