Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize