what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
