Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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