New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
