So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize
