Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
