Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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