yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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