I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
