Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
