That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
