My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
