mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Randomize
