Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i think my cat just said my name.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize