So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
