2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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